Secret Immortality
by cabbage-for-the-people
Summary: In a desperate attempt to regain her mortality, Sakura does what is forbidden in the world that the One God had created for spirits like her. She became human again, but what she never realized was the consequences of what she had done.
1. Chapter 1

_**A Prologue**_

**Les Beau Ciel: New Birth**

In our land called Les Beau Ciel, beauty is perhaps the most cherished treasure that we have.

Apple trees with the scent of sweet honey and grass are planted around edifices of what was called as our home and a blanket of velvet celadon covers our land. Waters run around our lone world in thin streams of crystals made into the purest liquid deemed to be found on this world. Exquisite little girls and boys play out their joy and sorrow in enticing choruses of violins and pianos.

But there is one single flaw in this place I have called to be my own haven. That is, we never grow old. We don't live in mortality, unlike in our past existence. This is because we live in what you humans might call as 'Heaven.' We are mere spirits borne from the Earth that glide around this perfect little world the One God had created for us.

This place which the One God had created for us has the home that we live in as the heart of this world. Elisha, the lady spirit whom I had first met when He made me, was the one who showed me the most Blessed room in our home. It binds us with the human world, since in it lays the Sea of Mortals.

The Sea of Mortals is where we get our new companions in this land of ours. Once a human dies and the One God thinks that he or she is worthy enough, that person shall be renewed and be given life again as a spirit of Les Beau Ciel. If a spirit enters this passage, though, he or she shall be granted a new form as a human. Why the One God had made the Sea of Mortals that way, I was never capable of comprehending.

If you have heard tales about spirits yearning to claim mortal flesh as their own, then you have probably heard my story.

Even as a mere illusion of what I used to be as a mortal, I never forgot the thirst I had towards my mortality. To have an uncertainty in life and having night and day is something that I have always loved as a human. In this New Existence, I don't remember even the most trivial things like the taste of meat or iced fruits; I don't remember what is ugly. We don't have night or day in this land. In here, the sun is always at the point of setting, because this is what the One God believes to be the most beautiful point in time. We don't have the thrill of discovery or ambiguity like what you humans have when you live day by day. Other spirits- or angels, I guess you might call us that- feel content enough in this world.

I'm not, evidently.

You see, I exist in here because my mother resorted to a cursed deed, or so Elisha told me. My mother was a thing of beauty but she was a practitioner of the Dark Crafts; a minion of the devil or a witch, as the other humans back in the days of Salem would have called her.

She was locked up in confinements that had tools that would mark her pale skin with bruises and wounds until she would plead guilty into being a witch. During those days, when one person was accused and proved to be a follower of witchcraft, his or her family would also suffer the consequences. This is because the people in those times believed that this sort of evil runs through the whole family of a witch.

My mother obviously knew this and so, desperation got the best of her. She then cried out for mercy to the Devil himself, whom she believed to be a sorcière. Yet he didn't answer her wails, cursed being that he was.

She waited and waited until the day before her supposed death came. At last, she struck out a deal with the One God. He was a gracious being, for He loved all things lovely that He made, and so he couldn't resist my mother's pleas for a bargain.

She gave Him her one true treasure to prove her devotion to their deal: her child; the child whom she conceived with the seed of a gentleman who had left her for his whore.

…The child whom she called Adèle, and the one who would grant her and her loved ones freedom to live the rest of their mortal days.

I am- rather, I _was_ Adèle.

I vaguely remember the incident of sacrifice itself, but I do recall the simple things like the smell of my mother's sweat and the taste of her salty tears as she offered me to the One God. I was a mere child of sixteen years, and I hardly even knew the ways in being a proper woman of the house. I didn't even comprehend the fact that I was being cast out to my New Existence.

When I entered this world, everything I had desired as a mortal was given to me, that is, except for human life itself.

How I yearned to know how to be human again. To taste, to hate, to sweat… to breathe…

And just like my mother, I acted out of sheer desperation as well. At that moment, I acted on what was forbidden.

I entered the Sea of Mortals, in that Blessed room of Les Beau Ciel.

And thus, I became human once more.

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**After Note: **I know, I know. It's confusing. (:c) I'll explain how Sakura became Sakura in her second time to become human.

Tell me which parts you would like me to explain, and I'd gladly put explanations on the next chapter.

Thank you for reading and please don't forget to review! (:D)


	2. Chapter 2

_**One**_

**Cherry Blossoms Kiss My Lifeless Limbs**

I remember that moment when I first entered the Earth. I assumed that I would be human once more; be Adèle and live with new companions that I could call as my new family. But this was not to happen, I soon realized as I was still in the form of a spirit.

Some of you might think that because I was a mere illusion of my first human existence, I would be floating around and be able to travel wherever I want to in this world of yours. This was not the case. I was aware that I was in your world, but all I could do was use my eyes and watch. I could not feel, speak, touch, taste, much less talk or communicate with your kind. And I could not move.

You might not be able to envision this or imagine it in your minds, as you are human and have evidently never had the eyes of a spirit. I saw everything in this planet of yours in a close view, from the fruit vendor in Saudi Arabia to the group of adolescents who paint on walls in brilliant rainbows of colors in America. I looked at the supple limbs of these beautiful humans and their garments and their faces full of life and everything I once had. Everything that encompassed my vision was so vivid in color and detail that man himself could not possibly see it even with their microscopes or their computers.

I could even see the souls of people who died go past me, their eyes looking up and their arms reaching towards the sky. I also saw the ghosts of children and elders roam around with that impassive look on their faces, never really knowing if they were ready to embrace their destiny of living in New Existence or, perhaps, as souls for the rest of eternity.

I didn't understand what I was supposed to do to become human once more at that moment. I always thought that once I entered the Sea of Mortals, I would regain my human form once more. I began to ponder about this for a while; my gaze affixed to this exquisite land of trees with pink leaves and people with elegant alabaster skin and small hooded eyes the color of bistre.

And that was when I saw her.

She was a lovely little girl that looked to be four years of age with enchanting wide eyes the shade of the fields my mother used to take me to once the umber of clouds cast upon it its kiss of a shadow. Her hair was light brown with the whisper of the sweetest tinge of honey and her skin was pleasantly darkened from the rays of the sun.

She sat on a narrow bed covered in white sheets of fabric. The small wooden table by the window of her room had five red roses in a clay vase that had _India _engraved on it. I couldn't hear what the man on her left side said, but I could sense the concealed sorrow emanating from him. His brown eyes had dark circles around them, indicating his being tired. I felt pity for him.

I watched the little girl as she looked away from the man. She wasn't able to understand it for she was much too young to do so, but I knew the immense guilt she had for not being able to make the gentleman next to her smile again.

That was when I started to comprehend the situation. As spirits, we could not only see the physical characteristics, but also the thoughts and emotions that someone has. The man was her father named Fujitaka Kinomoto, and the girl was…

Sakura Kinomoto.

How strange it is that her name bears the reason on how I took notice of her: cherry blossoms. It suited her quite well.

I observed her as she woke up and then drifted off to sleep for six moons and seven mornings, her fragile body withering away to the sickness she had. A forlorn emotion started to seep into me. I didn't know why she was sick; I didn't have any ways to heal her or comfort her. I was all the more sad that such a happy girl would suffer so much. At one point, I even thought that she looked back at me with that small smile of hers.

On the seventh night, that's when my second chance to become mortal once again happened.

Two young girls were in the room now; one lying limp on the hospital bed, one standing next to the table with the clay vase. And at a moment of immense sorrow, I wept. But no tears would come out, for I was a spirit. This is because I knew; I understood.

I understood that Sakura Kinomoto, even for only a few seconds of what I would like to believe as friendship when she smiled at me, was dead. My exquisite, fragile little friend was dead.

Her soul stared back at me with those translucent marble-like eyes of hers, small pudgy fingers touching one of the roses in the clay vase. It had a whisper of white light radiating from each finger, this hand of hers. And at a delusional moment, I called out to her soul, making sure that I pronounced her charming name with as much amorous fervor as I could. I didn't know if her soul could hear me or comprehend my words.

Understand that souls and spirits are different, contrary to what you mortals believe. Souls are vaguer in appearance than us spirits. They are neither living nor dead, for they exist at the thread of distinction between what is the New Existence (spirit form) and the First Life (human form).

Her soul continued to look at me; fluorescent hospital robes - the same as the one her mortal self was wearing- appearing to be part of her soul's almost fluid skin. Did she… understand me? I called out to her again: Sakura, I said, talk to me.

At last, she spoke.

The way she uttered out her words was like one quick motion that only flows through the mind. Her scarlet lips remained unmoving against her luminous alabaster skin. She was solid and air at the same time, this form of hers. I started to envy her otherworldly beauty. As spirits, we looked much like our mortal appearance, only much more detailed and, ironically, alive in color.

She said, "Who are you?" and it sounded surprisingly like a person's voice. I answered "I don't know," for this was true. In Les Beau Ciel we held no names, for the One God thought of all of us as one and the same: his loves. I wasn't Adèle anymore, please remember. I was of New Existence now. But that wouldn't be for long. I was going to be human once more, and I reveled at that idea. At that point, though, I wasn't sure how I could be mortal again.

Sakura's soul gazed at her human self. There was no expression on her face. "I want to go back." The way she said things was almost melodious. She glanced at me. "But I can't."

She could not shed any tears either, but I could see her face contort into an anguished expression. "Why…? Why can't I…?" she knew she was dead, I saw it in her eyes.

The door swung open as her father and a stout old man in a long white coat ran towards Sakura's lifeless body. The strange box at the left side of her bed had a straight green line on it. I stared at Fujitaka and sensed the desperation in him. There were thin streams of water flowing out of his eyes of bistre.

"Please…" Sakura's soul tried to reach out to her father. "Please, don't cry…" he chubby arms were raised up to him. "Daddy! I can't… I can't…! Please…" she swiveled around to face me, her little feet appearing to float as she walked towards where she believed I was. "Do something, please! What's happening?" her features were scrunched up now. Still, no tears would come out. There wasn't any form of relief that could be granted to this pitiful soul of hers. Her father had his hands on his face now; his shoulders shaking uncontrollably as he slowly knelt down next to Sakura's bed.

What _was _I to do? What could I do? I wasn't the One God, I was only a spirit!

I looked at Sakura and then to her soul. And then, I begged. Not to the One God, but to Sakura's human self. "Please, help me," I said over and over again like a prayer. I couldn't bear to see Fujitaka anymore as his mouth was opened for him to cry out his pain.

I kept on chanting, pleading, crying out. Just like the way my mother did when she made a deal with the One God.

…Then it happened.

The next thing I knew, I could feel something soft beneath me. The distant memory of my human senses was back.

And then I realized that from that day forth, I would exist as Sakura Kinomoto.

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**After Note: **--dodges rotten tomatoes- I'm sorry if this chapter didn't make any sense! (:c) I will explain what happened to Sakura's soul on the next installment. I'm juggling two fanfics now: this one and _A Story of Chestnuts and Mocha_, so I didn't make this chapter longer than I intended. Next parts will involve Syaoran, so watch out for that! (;D)

**Reviewers:**

_clapz-_ thank you

_Cheeseycraziness_- Thanks a lot! Your review made me very happy (:D)

_SailorCSH_- Witchcraft is just part of the introduction (:P)

_TFNYY_- I promise you, the ending won't be sad. (:D) But then again… it really would depend on my mood (:c) Thanks for the review! It was awesome.


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